KZ Writes Good
The internet is a huge bathroom wall, and any halfwit with a keyboard and a connection has an opportunity to scrawl on it. Take me, for instance. My name is KZ. For a good time, come find me at Prosaic Shades of Gray.
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It’s been a little over a week since I’ve learned the news that Nicky has passed away. She was gorgeous, kind, full of warmth and wit, and devastatingly funny. She was one of two writers who updated and maintained a humor blog called We Work For Cheese. Nicky was my friend. I miss her dearly.
Often times when I’m alone with my own thoughts, I find it hard to relax and just enjoy my free time without feeling guilty that I’m not doing something more constructive with my life. It must be residual guilt from my younger days as a student.
Don’t get me wrong, I find plenty of time to waste my time. I play an excess of video games, I watch hours of YouTube, I shop online for deals on paintball gear, and I browse Reddit like it’s a second job. There are plenty of things I enjoy doing when I find some quiet time, but they all inspire this pervasive sense of guilt within me for not doing more with my life.
GOD: You fault me for my lack of intervention?
KEVIN: Of course.
GOD: Just a moment ago, you told me that God should let His children live their own lives.
KEVIN: In an ideal universe, even the most aloof and irresponsible deity would take at least some measures to stop his children from hating and killing each other…
Ah hell, I don’t know what to say anymore. All I ever seem to do is repeat myself, which is mainly the reason why I’ve stopped writing for a good long while. I don’t miss it all that much, to be perfectly honest with you. Call me a man without motivation. I have a mouth, but I can’t be bothered to scream.
This is a conversation about Ben.
“Jesus, what motivates somebody to shoot himself in the head?”
“I suppose some people’s lives just suffer a deficit of meaning.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I’m about to shoot myself in the head if you keep that shit up.”
30 Minus 2 Days of Writing (2014)
Day 14: “It has to be aliens”
On September 21, 2013, I married Diana, the love of my life. We had been dating for nearly ten years before we finally got hitched. In all the time that we had been together, Diana constantly begged me to write a “mushy and romantic” blog entry in which I discussed the many ways that I loved her. For one reason or another, I kept refusing, and I never gave in. I came close to honoring her request once, but then I turned it into one big joke.
30 Minus 2 Days of Writing (2014)
Day 10: “Zombies”
Day 11: “Succubus”
For years, I’ve been revisited by a recurring dream that always leaves me unsettled and frustrated when I wake up. I guess you could call it a nightmare. I never remember much about these dreams except for a few recurring details, some blurry impressions, and the emotions I’ve felt in broad strokes.