Edric had some choice words to say about my previous blog entry. Little did he know that he was making the wrong choice when he decided to raise up on KZ without provocation.

Edric: that was disappointing. too much hype, not enough substance. i was expecting something funnier.

Kevin: i was expecting you to be funnier!

Edric: nice comeback, writer =)=)

Kevin: YOU are a nice comeback, writer!
…
Kevin: Nothing to say, huh? I’ll take your stunned silence as a concession of defeat.

Edric: oh…i’m sorry, did you say something? i was waiting for something worth responding to.
…
Edric: hah! now i stunned you into silence.

Kevin: oh, you’re still on that? that was so 3 minutes ago. you’re so 2000-and-late.

Edric: hatez

Edric: by the way, what’s up with you Zings and cats? get a real animal, like a dog.

Kevin: Awesome things meow. Cats meow; therefore, cats are awesome. Simple, really.

Edric: I never thought of it that way. You are a wise man, KZ. I especially enjoyed your sarcastic syllogism, which was humorously, intentionally, and satirically unsound. Might you have been teaching me a lesson by “coming down to my level”? Also, might I add that I appreciate the way you faithfully reproduce online conversations for the viewing pleasure of your blog readers? You report the truth with such competence and integrity. In short, you are my idol, KZ.

Kevin: hellz yeah, i don’t make shit up.

Edric: remember the time i dropped my ice cream cone, and i cried for 12 hours?

Kevin: maybe i should take a snippet of this conversation and post it in a blog entry. i’ll make it look like i won, of course, because on the whole, i did.

Edric: such lies. =)=)

Kevin: get your own blog then, and fight back!

Edric: those lies of yours are unbecoming of a wannabe journalist. =)=)

Kevin: i pay no heed to the voiceless

Diana: That’s because all of your references are stupid and obscure.

Kevin: They’re not obscure, they’re subtle. You know, like the “b” in “subtle”? You don’t really notice it in there, and you never, ever see it coming. It’s just a silent letter. It’s kind of funny when you stop to think about the word, actually. The letter “b” subtly epitomizes the very essence of the word, “subtle”. That’s a highly unusual thing, isn’t it? I mean, isn’t it fascinating how the letter “b” in a word like “subtle” can so perfectly illustrate the definition of the word that contains it?

Diana: . . . (sigh)

Kevin: You like that, Diana?

Diana: Nope.

Kevin: That’s always your answer. Do you ever like anything?

Diana: Not anything that ever comes out of your mouth.

Kevin: Well, that’s not very subtle. That’s like the “s” in “subtle”. Or the “t” in “subtle”. Or to a lesser extent, the “l” in “subtle”. Because you see, you hear the “l”, but it’s not as pronounced as . . .

Diana: Kevin, go away.

KEVIN: Of course.

GOD: Just a moment ago, you told me that God should let His children live their own lives.

KEVIN: In an ideal universe, even the most aloof and irresponsible deity would take at least some measures to stop his children from hating and killing each other.

GOD: The funny thing about ideals is that they can differ so greatly depending on the dreamer. Sometimes, not even the dreamer himself can agree with his own ideals.

KEVIN: I see where this is going. You think I’m asking for too much. I shouldn’t gripe about the apathy of God if I truly valued humanity’s free will. You breathed life into our frail little bodies, gave us minds of our own, built us a playground, and then set us free. Well you know what? With all due respect, I’m not impressed. I just don’t understand the point of all of this.

Life on earth, you know? I mean, what the hell?

If what they say is true, then there’s a Heaven somewhere. It’s a place where you supposedly feel no pain. Death is nothing to fear in Heaven because you’ve already suffered enough and died for the final time. But what’s the point of pain, and what’s the point of death if we’re all truly destined for eternal bliss? People like to justify our mortality by claiming that God wants to teach us lessons that we’d never learn without first experiencing pain. Others try to convince you that God expects us to prove our worth before we can claim our right to stop the suffering. Still others conjecture that the physical and metaphysical universe is fragmented, and living a perfectly virtuous life will reconnect you to the greater whole. And the theories continue. To tell you the truth, I’ve never heard an explanation that satisfied me.

The more I think about suffering, the more I wonder why I can’t let go of that vision of the ideal universe in which God is both unconditionally loving, and unconditionally just. Why do we accept these assertions without questioning them? What proof do we really have of God’s infallibility? How in the hell are we supposed to be sure that God is more than just a sadist in the sky? The simple truth is we suffer by design. I wish I could understand the wisdom in this kind of creation.

GOD: I have faith that one day you will.

KEVIN: When do you suppose that will be? And since when did you conduct your affairs on the insistence of faith?

GOD: Oh, kid, you really do have a lot more to learn about me, don’t you?

KEVIN: I guess it was too much to expect a straightforward answer. I should have learned by now to just stop asking.

GOD: But where’s the fun in that?

Casey: http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2008/12/2008_greek_riots.html
Kevin: damn, that’s nuts
Kevin: compelling pictures
Casey: too bad they didn’t put the phone number for hot protester chick in #7
Kevin: lol dude i was thinking the same thing. is that wrong?
Casey: never
Kevin: she’s fighting for social justice and government reform and shit
Kevin: and we’re just thinking about banging her
Casey: bow chicka bow wow

KEVIN: So that’s it, then? Your answer is a vague and useless vindication of all things divine? Shiva, Yahweh, Bismillah, it’s all the same, right? Looks like the countless scores of quibbling religious denominations and sects have been fighting over nothing all along. Gold stars for everybody!

GOD: One of the most tragic constants in human history is your talent for oversimplification.

KEVIN: Forgive me, but aren’t you the one claiming that all roads lead to a single path? Isn’t that an oversimplification?

GOD: More like a simple statement of the facts. That’s not to say that all roads are as direct or straightforward as others, but none of them are entirely devoid of direction. Those people who would oversimplify, however, are often the ones who have the easiest time justifying violence and hatred in the name of God. It was never my intention that diversity would lead to such division.

KEVIN: Division is one of the things we do best. It’s a rule of nature. The truth is, humans strive on segregation, and resentment, and prejudice.

By default, we’re sectioned off by continents — but beyond that point, the rest of our divisions are voluntary. Within those huge masses of land that we call continents, we draw borders for individual countries. Some countries get along with each other and form international councils, while most others just sulk in the corner by themselves and mutter threats. Within our countries, we have states, and counties, and cities. And despite all of that propagandized nationalism and cultural identity bullshit, citizens of a country make plenty of reasons to hate each other when it comes to polarizing entities like partisan politics or professional sports. All of that national unity stuff melts away when you’re too busy bitching about the opposing party or screaming death threats at the visiting team. It’s all just fuel for pointless rivalry.

The divisions flow from top to bottom and permeate pretty much every aspect of our lives. I’m not trying to sound like a pseudo-socialist here, but humanity has more diversity than it knows what to do with it. Different skin colors, ethnic origins, governmental philosophies, religious doctrines, sexual orientation–there’s a wealth of reasons to senselessly hate each other. We are all self-transcending beings crammed into a common living space, so it’s inevitable that disagreements would arise. And what better way is there to win an argument than to kill everybody who contradicts you? I’m still trying to decide whether suicide bombers are stubborn brutes who refuse to change with the times, or if they’re actually the next step in human evolution.

GOD: A little fatalistic, don’t you think?

KEVIN: If I were you, I’d worry less about one guy’s pessimism and focus more on the fact that people are blowing themselves up to impress you. How do you reconcile your claims of caring about the world with your apparent lack of intervention?

GOD: As senseless as this will sound to you, humanity has all of the necessary tools that it needs to live in peace.

KEVIN: What am I, a deist? Do you expect me to accept that as an adequate answer?

GOD: You fault me for my lack of intervention?

KEVIN: Of course.

GOD: Just a moment ago, you told me that God should let His children live their own lives.

KEVIN: In an ideal universe, even the most aloof and irresponsible deity would take at least some measures to stop his children from hating and killing each other.

GOD: The funny thing about ideals is that they can differ so greatly depending on the dreamer. Sometimes, not even the dreamer himself can agree with his own ideals.

I’m an impudent child, I know.