Sympathy for the Sinners

February 4, 2014 (Tue)



30 Minus 2 Days of Writing (2014)
Day 4: “When hell freezes over”

I find the Christian concept of Hell as a place for eternal damnation a strange idea. If Hell is the domain of the fallen angel, Satan, who was banished from Heaven for defying God’s will, then what is Satan’s motivation in his capacity as “The Devil” to carry out the will of God by punishing sinners for eternity? It really doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me.

For that matter, how can we be sure that Hell is the ghoulishly terrible place that everybody makes it out to be? For all we know, maybe every newcomer to Hell is welcomed to the afterlife with high fives, throngs of AC/DC music, and an endless buffet line full of bacon, pizza, tacos, and beer. I’m picturing something rowdy and debaucherous like Pleasure Island from Disney’s version of Pinocchio, but with a little less slave labor, and less body horror from forced donkey transformations. The way I see it, the only down side to going to Hell would be having the stand in the same buffet line with Hitler. I hear that guy is a dick.

30 Minus 2 Days of Writing (2014)
A painful exercise in forced inspiration brought to you by
We Work for Cheese


  1. ReformingGeek          
    February 4, 2014 at 6:36 pm Reply

    Your version of Hell could be quite interesting!

    • KZ          
      February 6, 2014 at 4:54 am Reply

      I'd like to think so. Hopefully I'll never have a chance to personally test my theory.

  2. Malisa          
    February 5, 2014 at 1:55 pm Reply

    Don't make me think, Kevin. It's against my religion!

    • KZ          
      February 6, 2014 at 4:59 am Reply

      Sorry about that! Maybe if you plug your ears and hum a tune, the bad thoughts will go away.

  3. Diana Mueller          
    February 5, 2014 at 6:53 pm Reply

    Bacon? Did you say bacon!? Does Heaven have bacon!?!? I think that's something someone really ought to know before they decide which side to join.

    • KZ          
      February 6, 2014 at 5:00 am Reply

      I see you've walked right into my bacon trap, Diana. So predictable.

  4. Boom Boom          
    February 8, 2014 at 8:29 am Reply

    I've been plenty irreverent in my lifetime, so I'm probably destined for hell. At least most of my friends will be there with me. (We can always shun Hitler at the buffet line.)

  5. P.J.          
    February 13, 2014 at 7:58 am Reply

    I like your interpretation of Hell. Bring on the bacon!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *