Remember how I was telling you before about the merits of daydreaming during a boring conversation with your girlfriend? Today was one of those days when I had no choice but to space out during one of Diana’s endless rants about the hot summer weather. Diana had started off by complaining about the heat, but I noticed at some point that she had shifted gears, and she was now giving me shit for my “girly” appreciation for the television show, Glee. That was the point when I snapped back into focus with a new-found interest in the conversation. Gender politics is something of a hobby of mine.

Here’s how the conversation ended.

Kevin: I’m sorry, Diana. Were you saying something?

Diana: Yeah, I was just bitching about your feminism.

Kevin: So — you’re against the fact that I believe in the empowerment of women, and equality between the sexes?

Diana: Oh whatever, I was talking about your … fem-in-inity or whatever. It sounds like a made up word!

Kevin: No, it sounds like a real word which you happen to not know the definition of.

Diana: [Sprays Kevin with a water bottle, which is primarily used to discipline our cats]

Kevin: Jesus, woman. Use your words.

Diana: [Sprays Kevin again]

Kevin: You see? This is why you’re doomed to an eternity of earning $0.77 to every dollar made by a man in the workplace.

Diana: [Sprays Kevin one final time, and huffs away]

Kevin: Where are you going, Diana? Off to the kitchen to make me a delicious pie?

Diana: Asshole.

Kevin: Cherry, please.

Yes, I know. I’m a bad, bad man.