There are few greater sins in the tenets of romantic love than complacency. My lovely girlfriend, Diana, reminds me of this truth seemingly on a daily basis. Numerous times now during our six-year relationship, Diana has asked me to set aside my sarcasm and my obnoxious humor for one single blog post, and to proclaim my undying love for her in the sincerest possible way. Fair enough, my love.

Our relationship has had its fair share of tumultuous storms, but there’s never been a twister strong enough to tear us apart. It’s just too damn fun chasing those storms with Diana at my side. Truly, this is as good as it gets.

I don’t know if this ever comes through in my writing at all, but I can be something of a smartass on occasion. Diana has the patience of a saint to put up with all of the crap I give her. Sometimes I wonder why the Fates don’t just cast me away to a deserted place in order to impose upon me a sentence of lovelorn penance for the way I can sometimes treat her.

In truth, I am a lucky man, and I damn well know it. My love, you deserve so much more than a single blog entry. Darling, you deserve so much more than the moon and the stars, were I ever capable of giving them to you. If I could ever understand what women want, I would give it my all to give you all of it.

Gentle woman, I love you sincerely. I love you madly. Some might say that I’m “mad” about you. You are the Helen Hunt to my Paul Reiser. And if the story of our love were somehow filmed before a live studio audience and subsequently broadcast by a major American network with nearly 200 regional affiliates, we would dominate the ratings on Tuesday nights with the passion that inflames our synchronous hearts. For we are one, you and I, and nobody will deny the strength of our union — except perhaps during the fourth season of our love story, during which it is revealed that you kiss a colleague, and I in turn nearly kiss a colleague of my own. Yet our love shall persevere for a minimum of three additional years, for you and I have committed to each other that we will jump together, hand in hand, into the final frontier.

And though the network might make the mistake of changing the broadcast time of our love story to Monday nights for the seventh season — thus degrading our viewership ratings — our love shall persevere. Onwards we shall roam, paying it forward as we go. I love you sincerely. I love you madly.

I love you, Helen Hunt.