By now, I think it’s safe to say that most Americans are aware of those yellow Lance Armstrong bracelets that help fund cancer research. They’ve grown into something of a trend, and I guess rightly so, because supporting medical science is a good thing. But now the fad has outgrown its original concept, and plenty of imitators have entered the market. Pretty much any bumper sticker sentiment that you can think of has been stamped onto a crappy rubber wristband, from “Tsunami Relief” to “Support Our Troops.” There’s “Hope Faith Love,” “God Bless America,” and the ever-so-trite “United We Stand.”

I guess those are worthy causes, and I can see why people would want to advertise them on their wrists, but couldn’t we have just let Lance have his own thing? Was it really necessary to cheapen the symbolic impact of the Livestrong band? I’m a little turned off by the fact that so many entrepreneurs have seen it fit to cash in on the success of Armstrong’s wristbands.

I have this image in my mind of the first guy that decided to rip off the wristband idea. He was right in the middle of conning an old lady out of her life savings with a bogus sweepstakes scheme when inspiration suddenly struck him, and he compromised his mark when he jumped up excitedly to exclaim, “Hot damn, I’ve got it. I’LL COMPETE WITH CANCER!” Then he clubbed the old lady unconscious and picked her pockets before racing home to work out the details on his wristband operation. And before you know it, we’ve got red, blue, and pastel wristbands coloring the vast landscape of American forearms.

God bless you, Lance. You tried to do a good thing, and look what they did to it.