I’ve never been fond of final goodbyes. Everybody always insists on brightening their parting words with lofty optimism and half-hearted promises. It’s a ritualized dance of mutually understood pretense that facilitates graceful exits. To acknowledge the truth is to create opportunities for awkward guilt and self-reflection. And so we lie to our departing friends, and…
Year: 2005
An Excerpt from My Conversation with God
GOD: It always comes back to that, doesn’t it? Whose beliefs are the truest, whose practices are the most pious, and most of all, whose version of God is the most accurate? My answer to you can only be this: as in all other things relating to humanity, there is a common thread that unites…
The Office Newbie
You know you spend too much time on the internet when you make a mistake at work, and you spend the rest of the day dreading that your boss will descend upon your desk and scream, “What the hell, you fucking n00b?” I shit you not. Those are the kinds of thoughts that I’m forced…
This Blogger’s Gone Living
Lack of creation does not necessarily indicate a lack of inspiration. Silence sucks, I know. But don’t you think for a second that KZ went and fell off. Please continue to believe, however, that KZ is a total asshole for not taking the time to read the meticulous updates on all of your respective blogs,…
School’s Out, Kids
My apologies for not establishing a stronger online presence this summer. I’ve been going through a large transitional period (to say the least). But I’m back now, and I’m happy to report that I haven’t run out of ideas yet. But more importantly, I wanted to let you all know that I finally have a…
But you’re not too blind to read a twenty-minute AIM conversation?
Eva: are you still writing? Kevin: yes and no… Kevin: but mostly no Eva: ?? Kevin: i took a long mental holiday this summer. but i posted something new recently. care to read a rant? http://kevzster.blogspot.com Eva: oh no, i can’t Eva: sorry….i can’t handle reading from comp screens anymore Eva: i think i’m going…
Trust Me, I Can Wait
I don’t understand why so many parents insist on taking their infant children out to theaters to watch grownup movies. Parents who attempt to lead normal lives while simultaneously caring for their babies are doomed to fail miserably. If you’re responsible for a an infant child, and you have no way of finding a babysitter,…
Bee My Queen, Honey Bird
I’ve never understood why so many people choose to euphemize sex by referring to it as “the birds and the bees.” Due to common usage, we all know what it means when somebody invokes that phrase. But standing alone on its own merits, the “the birds and the bees” is an embarrassingly ill-constructed analogy. What…
The Things I Hate About Internet Forums
I admit it. My guilty pleasure is reading internet forums. Forums are places on the web where people who share a common interest can come together and bicker about all of the things that divide them. Actually, as an abstract ideal, a forum thread is a place for advice, observations, thoughtful discourse, and provocative debate….
Peddling On
By now, I think it’s safe to say that most Americans are aware of those yellow Lance Armstrong bracelets that help fund cancer research. They’ve grown into something of a trend, and I guess rightly so, because supporting medical science is a good thing. But now the fad has outgrown its original concept, and plenty…