Go ahead and bleed your meaning away
may it seep in streams
and as it falls in bulbous beads
don’t you dare allow it to clot
for a scab would mean the death
of diminishing vision.

-Kevin Zing

Posted by KZ on 07/31/03

Call me insensitive or maybe a tad unsentimental (as if that were a just description), but I don’t understand people’s fascination with racehorses. A few months ago, sportscasters were hyping up some horse named Funny Cide and how he might win the Triple Crown. Forgive me, but I found that pointless. And now we’ve got a movie coming out about a horse named Seabiscuit. I know, the movie was a book first; and for all I know, it was probably well written. And actually, reviewers are already praising the movie. But seriously, can anybody explain to me what’s the big deal about these horses? They’re fast runners, and I suppose they have the hearts of champions, but they’re also just freaking horses. I honestly don’t give a damn about the achievements of animals. Unless Funny Cide discovers a cure for cancer or AIDS, I could happily live the rest of my life without hearing his name. As for Seabiscuit, while his story may be inspirational as hell, I think I’ll skip the movie when it comes to theatres. Sorry my equestrian-loving friends, but I just don’t get it.

Posted by KZ on 07/21/03

Over the past few weeks I’ve noticed that I’ve been surrounding myself with old jazz standards. Particularly, I’ve been listening to a lot of Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday, Etta James, Dakota Staton, and then for good measure, I’d throw in some Norah Jones and Diana Krall. You know the kind of music I’m talking about: sweet, moody, melodic, and always tinged with a hint of melancholy even in the happiest numbers. I don’t really know what to make of this sudden obsession with it all. I mean, am I some hapless character stuck in a romantic comedy? Some luck that would be, seeing as how there’s no leading lady anywhere in sight. Well, guess I’ll just have to keep on listening for as long as I need to. It sure would be nice to share the music with somebody though. In time, I know. Patience, I know. Maybe.

Posted by KZ on 07/15/03

It’s 2am, and the club has closed. Outside, while everybody else is walking to their cars, my friends decide to join a swarm of horny and expectant guys mobbing two incredibly hot chicks that are shamelessly enjoying the attention. Yes, the girls are hot, but they’re obviously stringing the guys along because it’s fun to be worshipped for having a nice ass. So I pull my usual “aloof, too good for your meager human games” routine, as I stand aside and watch in silence. I act bored, but I can’t deny that I’m at least a little interested in what’s being said. The chicks are apparently older than my friends and me, and they affectionately call us babies. Then they somehow get onto the topic of astrological signs, and I suddenly want to do nothing more than to shoot myself at this moment. One of the chicks eventually takes notice of me, the silent friend, and she feels me out.

Hot Chick: What sign are you?
Kevin: Does it really matter?
Hot Chick: ::shrugs:: Well…
Kevin: I’m a Taurus.
Hot Chick: Oh.
Kevin: ::turns to walk away::
Hot Chick: How old are you?
Kevin: 22
Hot Chick: Oh.
Kevin: ::walks on::

Yeah, that’s probably one of the more asshole-ish things I’ve done in a while, but it was satisfying beyond belief. And yet, the sad thing about this entire affair is that, had she asked me for my number, I wouldn’t have hesitated to give it to her. The lows that women can get men to stoop to are unbearably tragic. Women will be the end of me, my friends. I can feel it. But until then, here’s to small victories.

Posted by KZ on 07/13/03

Conrado: what are you afraid of?
Kevin: failure, the dark, and sometimes God
Conrado: so you’re scared of uncertainty?
Kevin: i think so
Kevin: and you?
Conrado: i’m scared of the dark, infinity, and being normal
Kevin: being normal is definitely a fear of mine as well
Kevin: but we can’t all be superstars
Kevin: life is a tough gig
Conrado: superstars, no, but i refuse to give into everything JUST cause everyone likes it and i definitely don’t want to wake up twenty years from now and find that i didn’t do much with my life
Conrado: seriously though, it’s like shakespeare said:
Conrado: um
Conrado: damnit, hold on, let me find the quote
Kevin: heh
Kevin: nice to see that his words have resonated so soundly within you

Posted by KZ on 07/07/03