Ick, I’ve noticed that most of my recent entries have been filled with complaints. Tara’s right. I’m becoming a bitter old man long before my time has even come. Ah well, things happen. I bet August will be a super month. By September 1st, I’ll be the happiest person alive. Sometimes it’s good to set unrealistic goals. Goal achievement can be likened to bench pressing. When you’re benching, and you feel you’ve drained nearly all of the strength from your arms and chest, you instinctually begin to squirm and you contort other muscles in your body to help your arms lift the weight back up. In that moment of urgency, though lifting the weight seems like an impossibility, your body finds a way to make it happen. In life, just as it is in bench pressing, you can accomplish some amazing things just by committing yourself to a deadline or a goal. Of course, it never hurts to have someone spot you.

Posted by KZ on 07/29/02

Some guy is filing a class action lawsuit against four major fast food chains over his obesity. Whatever happened to common sense and personal responsibility? This guy claims he somehow “didn’t know” how bad fried food was for him until 1999. Our country is either full of whiners or it’s full of idiots. In either event, the choices don’t look so good. Hooray for frivolous lawsuits. God bless America.

Posted by KZ on 07/26/02

Ah, the joys of working in retail. Yesterday afternoon, some lady came in and asked me if the store has any lunch boxes. Immediately, I was inclined to say no since I had never known our store to carry lunch boxes. I told her I didn’t think so. Then, I tried to ask her if she had checked the accessories or children’s departments, but she kept interrupting me, so I could never ask her the question. “It’s in the ad,” she kept repeating. So I gave up on asking her any questions, and I told her I’d just check the ad so that I would know what she’s looking for. As I’m turning the pages, she reads my name tag. “It says ‘I’m here to help,” she muttered. “So help me!” I almost lost it right there in front of her. If I had chosen to act purely on impulse, I would have screamed something to the effect of, “What the hell does it look like I’m doing, making a freaking sandwich?” But no, I still believe in common frigging courtesy. So I just gave her a wry smile, and as sincerely as I could, I told her that I was trying to help her. You know that saying, “nice guys finish last?” Well I hope it’s true, so that when I finally pass the finish line, I’ll be as far away as possible from snide people like the lunchbox lady. I kid, of course. Maybe she’s a lovely lady outside of the shopping environment. Just maybe.

Anyway, I went out and saw Austin Powers in Goldmember last night. Hooray for sneak previews. I laughed so much, I thought I was going to be sick. It’s full of juvenile humor, but that’s the charm of Austin Powers. I still think the first movie had the best story line and had the most heart. But having said that, I think Goldmember is the funniest movie in the series.

I can’t find a graceful way to end this entry, so I’ll leave you with a quotation by Pamela Anderson from when she appeared on Late Night with Conan O’Brien. When Conan paid her a compliment by telling her she looked great, Pamela responded: “It takes a lot of money to look this cheap.” True that, Pam. I have a lot of respect for people who can poke fun at themselves.

Posted by KZ on 07/26/02

I can never tell when I’m on a date until it’s too late. Good God, am I really that oblivious, or are females just that confusing? It’s a bit of both, isn’t it?

It seems like the only girls worth having are the ones that I can’t have. Maybe it’s just my finicky, discriminating taste in women. If she lives within a sixty mile radius from my home, then she’s no good for me. If she’s not dating someone or if she’s not at least interested in somebody else, then there’s no reason to desire her. That’s sarcasm, of course, in case that doesn’t translate well in writing.

I’ll find her one day, whoever she is. Maybe I’ve already met her. Sometimes all the waiting just gets to be too much, you know?

Posted by KZ on 07/24/02

I’ve nearly been hit by negligent drivers twice within the past three days. I can assure you neither incident was solely my fault since I wasn’t the one violating traffic laws. The US is full of idiots, and the DMV gives every one of them a driver’s license. Sadly, I think I’m one of them.

Posted by KZ on 07/12/02

As most of you probably know, I’m home from Europe. Times were good, some times were great, and some times were less than mediocre. Typical traveling experience, no?

Europe has inspired me. I feel like picking up a bunch of foreign language books and start learning Italian, French, and German. I need history books and encyclopedias to fill in all the gaps in my knowledge that resurfaced on this trip. “A likely story,” you might say. “Kevin will get over that crap as soon as he gets in the habit of staring at the television screen again.” Maybe, maybe not. There’s still a world full of possibilities out there. That’s the most important lesson I learned during my vacation. Look at the majestic cathedral of Notre Dame, the endless murals in the Sistine Chapel, or the Pantheon in Rome and then talk to me about what’s possible and what isn’t. It just goes to show that humans, equipped with stout ambition (and perhaps hundreds of thousands of slaves at their disposal), can accomplish almost anything. Though our measly race is plagued with boundless stupidity, there is still something to be said about human tenacity and all of the possibilities that it creates. Whether it’s the completion of a sculpture or a vibrant mural, the creation of timeless literature, the construction of a towering monument, or even the budding of young love—all events point to the endless array of possibilities that hovers just within our reach. They begin as dreams, only to find their completion in wondrous forms, beautiful and unique.

This trip has restored my belief in possibilities. I guess it wasn’t so ordinary after all.

Posted by KZ on 07/06/02