I finally did something that felt appropriately 21. My old friend Angela took me to a bikini bar and treated me to drinks, dinner, and dollar bills for tipping. Believe it or not, she practically had to drag me into that place. In the past, I’ve always stayed away from places like that because I assumed that I wouldn’t have any fun. Throwing money at bored, scantily clad women seemed overrated. But after finally having experienced it for myself, I have to admit that I underestimated the treachery of women in pursuit of your cash. Of course, some might argue that women are treacherous even when they’re not digging your pockets.

But it’s hard to lump all women into that misogynistic stereotype when you have friends like Angela. She’s been so good to me over the years. I was reminded tonight just how much better of a friend she’s always been to me than I’ve been to her. I’ve got nothing but love for that girl, and I owe her so much—especially after tonight. It may be cliche to say it, but I think it bears repeating. You really shouldn’t take your friends for granted.

So to recap, I had a whole lot more fun at an exotic dancing joint than I thought I ever would have, though I’m trying to play it cool by masking it with nonchalance and some old fashioned male posturing. Meanwhile, I’m paying a tribute to a friend who will probably never read this journal entry.

More will be said once I’ve organized my thoughts better. Try and guess what I’ll be dreaming about tonight. Go ahead, I dare you.

Posted by KZ on 05/18/02

It’s Mothers’ Day, and my brother and I both chipped in on some flowers for our mom. I wonder how closely the price of those flowers matches their true economic value. Bah, I guess capitalism knows what it’s doing.

Posted by KZ on 05/12/02

Those bureaucratic idiots working for the Santa Clara county just screwed me twice on my passport. I renewed it last year, but they misspelled my middle name. I couldn’t change it in time before I went to China, so I just used the erroneous one to leave the country. I plan to travel again this summer, so I decided to have my passport corrected. I sent it to the county along with the proper amendment forms, and they mailed it all right back to me without any kind of written response. Screw those guys.

Ah hell, it’s only my middle name. Stuff like that is easily overlooked. I just hope the ineptitude of the people running airport security will work in my favor come summertime.

Posted by KZ on 05/02/02

It kills me whenever I say goodbye to somebody, and that person ends up walking in the same direction that I’m headed. There’s that awkward silence when we both realize that the distance between us isn’t increasing, and we’re left to decide whether to ignore each other and keep on walking, or to fill the moment with empty words.

Something similar to that happened to me Monday night. It was 8:45 PM, right after my religion class was dismissed. As I was leaving the building, I sneezed, and a classmate that was walking behind me paid me the courtesy of saying “bless you.” I thanked her and walked on. About a minute later, I realized she was still behind me. At this point, it probably would have been perfectly acceptable to keep my mouth shut until she and I finally parted ways. But it seemed rude to ignore her. “Thank you” hardly seems like an appropriate way to say goodnight. And besides that, I was suddenly struck with a thought that I had to talk over with somebody.

I won’t bore you with a word-by-word account of our conversation (although, I’m tempted to do so out of some self-indulgent impulse). But I will tell you that it began with the origins of the phrase, “God bless you” and it ended with a discussion of what the people of today have to contribute to the course of human history. By the end, I remember her saying something to the effect of, “If we all knew what our contribution to history would be, then we’d drop everything we were doing and try to cut directly to that contribution; and then we’d miss out on everything that was good along the way.” You know, she might be right. Maybe it’s a good thing that the future is unknown.

I love it whenever I throw out a random question and I’m met with an insightful answer. Just think…all that from a sneeze.

Posted by KZ on 05/01/02